There can be dredged up in me such levels of anger and compassionless rage. But there are some crimes that we as humans cannot adequately punish. Therefore that task is best left to God, whatever you perceive that to be.
That said, there are some acts and perpetrations, to my perception, especially when inflicted upon children that when I hear about it, I have to fight like hell the urge to cast a seriously venomous hoodoo upon those who use children as chess pawns in their poisoned and diseased sexual conquests.
Being a Libra, the idea of injustices heaped upon those unable to defend themselves raises up in my cauldron a response to the audacity of the perverse and the cruelty of the ignorant to pull the lynchpin from the precarious bridge they tread while I laugh like Satan when their wickedness falls upon the sharp rocks and slathers upon the copal, abbreviating their corrupted and demonic song.
When the innocent are victimized, the oppressors, in me, have gained an enemy.
We were both seven years old. He would come to my house after school to play. One day we went into the forest behind my childhood home. Here he forced me to take off my clothes, lay face down in the red wagon we had pulled together and then to say quiet and never tell anyone while he sodomized me with a broken tree branch. I cried softly while he raged. When we got back home, I exploded and told him to go home and never come back. My mother told me to 'be nice to him, he is your friend'. She never knew what had happened that day. I never told her.
Later that week, in school, during show and tell, after the rest of us had finished showing and telling about our model airplanes, sewing projects and pinch pots, he stood up and said he and his father would 'go camping together' and sometimes they would 'go swimming nekkid' and then go back to the tent where his father would 'fuck' him 'up the ass'.
The entire universe came to a screeching halt.
Not a sound was made until our teacher said to him, '*****, that's a family secret. We don't tell our family secrets in show and tell. Now children, let's not tell anyone about *****'s family secret that he told us today. That's not what show and tell is for.
As long as I live, I will never forget that.
This poem was initially sparked by the 2008 case of Josef Fritzl. A monster in human form, who kept his daughter Elisabeth prisoner for 24 years in a makeshift dungeon beneath his home in Austria. During this time, she was continually raped while children were born, miscarried, lived and died all while wrapped in his evil. When I heard of the case, I turned off the news, sat at the kitchen table and titled a page with the words 'An Open Letter to Joseph Fritzl from the Soul of Your Daughter'. The piece that follows in a profusely edited and mercifully abridged version of the 20 plus pages of rage, tears, curses and prayers and that purged out of me that night while pounding my fist on the table, screaming and sobbing for his daughter as well as any and all that bear the scars from the scourges of this realm of hell.
never never never
Claws prepared
for bloodletting
lying in wait
for my rapist to arrive
in whatever guise
the bastard may assume
You who cannot succumb
to the altar of equilibrium
I will suck you in
with my subservience
that has you lost
among the weeds
of your thoughts
I place further voodoo
upon you
my sweet nemesis
hear my voice
as you rape me
your life is mine
I drain you
like the vampire
you have made of me
If I spit in your mouth
I know you will return
to bow unto me
as you beat me
in the dungeon
of your own creation
of which you cannot escape
I leave you to sleep
in your own feces
until our next bout
when I die
you come
I convulse
you forsake
I beget
you retract
I lay silent
on this pillow
dreaming of God
you lie shivering
upon granite
fretting about the hell
where I will haunt you
Your greatest conquest
and defeat
a child
such as me
the sex of your rage
the violence of your semen
leaving me impregnated
in a sweat and bloody acceptance
of who I must be
and how I must live
beyond and above
your thoughts
wrath, charm, venom and scandal
You will behold me
as an apparition
a scolding spirit
a long and sustained scream
you will wish
you had never invoked
but was, is and will be
beyond the creation
of your perverse reality
where you found me
to slash and choke
until now
I will haunt you
and you shall
never
never
never
exorcise me.
Thank you for reading,
Many blessings and all my love always,
Max
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