I would be the biggest lying sack of bullshit on planet earth if I said marriage was easy. If wedded bliss and holy matrimony is to endure until death plus eternity, it's damn hard work. Even the most well paired, star kissed and harmoniously synchronized unions will eventually and repeatedly cross into the roiling storm laden latitudes wrought with financial hardships, jealousies, illnesses, miscommunications, sleepless nights, pain in the ass relatives, philosophical and geopolitical inconsistencies of unmutual opinion.
It is further deluded bullshit to think that the sex is always great.
Actually let me retract that last sentence. I don't know about any other long married couples, but for us sex is always great. Toe curling, sheet twisting, head board slamming, reverse cowgirl positioning, drowning moans of pleasure in pillows so as not to wake and mortify the children great. I wish the same for you and your beloved.
But I digress.
Stay together long enough and you will see each other on the glorious best and unvarnished worst days of your shared lives. The former is a cake walk. The latter is when you find out how much you really love that person with whom you stood up in front of God and everyone including the pain in the ass relatives and said 'I do'.
For me, on those days that inevitably erupt, threatening to shake the veracity of those sacred vows, I have but one conclusion as to how we survive all that has and shall transpire. It is because I love her beyond explanation and comprehension. Because without her I would have died long ago or at least the part of me she occupies that completes my life would have long since atrophied and decayed. It is with this awareness do I with great joy accept to carry this bundle all the days of my life. No matter how steep and unpaved the road, no matter how unkind the elements.
I know she does the same for me.
One time, a very smart old man told me 'whatever you do, it's not work if you do what you love'. With the passing of years and fading of miles, I walk with her into a sunrise that slowing and certainly illumines one simple revelation.
I love her, I love her, I love her......
I wish the same for you and your beloved. This poem is called 'Twin Flame'.
My ghost
will wait for her
no matter
how many lifetimes
she must see
I will wait
ensconced in mist
dripping in misery
for her ethereal form
to join mine
so that when we ascend
it will be
hand in hand
I could not suffer
alone in heaven
without her
without her
I would seek release
back to the earth
along side her
In my wildest imagination
I cannot see
my eternal life
without her
without her
I am stained
vapid
inconsequential
without my love
I cannot die
in peace
Therefore a ghost
destined to rattle
and thump
throwing relics
around the room
like a petulant child
until my twin flame
joins me
in silent embrace
on our bed
her head on my chest
my arm circling her shoulder
our breath sighing
longing for endless sleep
in this asana
limbs entwined
hair askew
a perfect portrait
of a beast
primed to returned
to the right hand
of the throne
Thank you so much for reading these words.
Many blessings and all my love,
Max
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