The End of Armageddon

I have a 10th degree black belt, a PhD, won numerous highly prestigious awards and been recognized in the Guinness Book of World records for my unparalleled abilities in the fine art of 'Grudge Holding.'

There have been some unfortunate (but deserving) individuals who are on my permanent shit list. These bastards might as well have their names tattooed on the wrong side of my heart because I have serious shortcomings in the ancient sage-like practice of 'Forgive and Forget.'

Perhaps my difficulty stems from the simple fact that some acts of injustice and cruelty should never be forgotten. After all, he that does not know history is destined to repeat it. There are certain types of people that wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say 'I'm going to be an asshole today.' 

I'm not making that statement figuratively. Some people make the conscious choice to be schmucks, tools and sons of bitches for the sport of it or they are too weak and immature to try to do better. Then there are those who believe screwing and terrorizing everyone in sight is their right for the injustices and cruelties perpetrated upon them. Furthermore some of these sad human casualties see no other way for them to persevere their way through an unfulfilled life. 

I really should feel sorry for them but I just....can't....wrap....my brain....around......that kind of fucked up mentality and the pus filled cancerous tapestry it attempts to cast upon the world. Granted, we ALL screw up sometimes, saying and doing things to our fellow human beings that is less than civil and I am by no means chaste and blameless by any stretch of the imagination. We, after all, are works in progress and learning from and fessing up to our transgressions is part of how we learn and grow. 

For me, I suppose what I find hard to do is separating and reconciling the forgiving from the forgetting. It is these geocached gems squirreled away on the path towards the Boddisattva I aspire that to be continue to elude me. Probably it would be more correct to say that these gems are sitting right in front of me, I just haven't learned how to see them yet.  

To be total in my confession; there are a few select individuals and associated occurrences that will not be named here of whom and for which I hold a righteously indignant swollen craw full of bile and vitriol that I wish to God and to hell I could let go of because, quite frankly, it is exhausting and detrimental to dwell upon. Once immersed in seething to find myself unable to extricate and climb down from the mountain top whereupon I am precariously but invincibly perched, Wagnarian overtures swelling, lightning flashes, sword drawn aloft to serve as lightning rod for the impending tempest foretelling of the doom and carnage soon to issue forth from the heavens with swarms of pestilence carrying locust upon the shriveled heads of my adversaries while I wail an aria, in the key of fuck you sharp, that goes something like this...

....if thou shalt tweakest me upon the nose, verily I shall smite thee, with long lengths of steel pipework upon thy brow and I shall cast thy teeth ruthlessly upon the earth with a swift blow of my penis upon thy blasphemous lips. 

A pox upon your house! A Curse upon your descendants! 

A call for abominations shall utter forth from mine orisons to the right ear of the All-Mighty! 

He shall strike thee down in all thy wicked ways from this day forth!

So sayeth I who am created in his image! 

Whereas I will someday hopefully evolve to peacefully erupt with soliloquies that sing more like...

One day

I will

reconcile

the demise

of my trust

and purge

my wrath.

Although deserved

I will spare

myself

and the world

another trial

and punishment

framing misdeeds

for the mantle

of heaven.

Once

I have eaten

your Armageddon

I will shit

lotus blossoms

at your funereal

and kiss you

with best wishes

goodbye.

All my love,

Max