I am not a yelling and screaming kind of person. Nor will I raise my fist to another unless absolutely no other alternative is present. Granted, sometimes my mouth can veer towards that of a drunken sailor but I learned to cuss from the best profanity artisans in existence and I know when to put a muzzle on my big ass mouth.
Therefore, I do not believe I was out of line for exclaiming 'Goddamnit don't ever do that again!' when she said 'Think Fast!' and flicked her lit cigarette into my face and it got caught in my hair.
A stunned expression spread across her face that began to quiver with tears. The dialogue that ensued on that late night Miami Beach back alley street went something like this:
You yelled at me!
You threw a lit cigarette in my face! What do you want me to do, say thank you?!
Don't you ever yell at me again!
Don't throw a lit fucking cigarette at me again!
Don't you fucking curse at me!
Don't give me a reason to!
Why did you have to yell and curse at me?!
Why did you have to throw a lit cigarette in my face?!
I don't know! I don't know why I do the things I do! That's just how I am! Sometimes I just like to do mean things because it's fun and it makes me laugh and that's who I am and if you can't accept me for who I am then you don't love me! I love you! and thought I could trust you to not yell at me like my last boyfriend did! I swear to God men fucking suck! I don't think you are a very nice person and I'm not sure I like you very much right now!
I can't say I'm a big fan you either! I'm frankly sick and tired of your shitty attitude and nasty comments and you're about to see my ass be so goddamn out of here it's going make your head fucking spin.
You're so fucking immature! You need to grow up and get a life!
And you need to go find another boyfriend who is stupid enough to put up with your shit! Fuck you and goodbye!
Fuck You Asshole!!
Fuck You Bitch!!
If you walk away from me, it's over. I swear to God I mean it this time.
Good!!!
FUCK YOU!!!!
And fuck you too!!!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
I walked away and lit a cigarette. Several moments of silence followed the ensuing footsteps and then from the distance I heard.....
Asshole!
....and I thought to myself.....
.......have a nice life devoid of me.....
On the Heavenous Firmament
We shared some
extremely harsh comments
before I killed us
But somehow I knew
I would see you again
in a facet or fashion
on some unknown day
Reconvening to repair
the damage done
to our bodies
from romantic affairs
with poisons chased by whiskey
Blurred headlights
swimming against a stream
of good sense and clean life
basking in shadows
of pock marked oblivion
grasping for saints
in a whore house divine
Angels in repulsive guises
speaking a Latin profane
A discourse with Satan.
A lie above all
we wrenched into our souls
and descended into an abode
which I still cannot believe
I climbed out of.
My wife and children
could not ever know
the pain of those days
prior to our murder
and the ensuing rapture
of diminishing darkness
that followed
The pillar of cloud
upon which I was hanged
fell light
on the heavenous firmament
the noose tightened
and threatened to break
but still I held fast
to the guns and swords
that led to this bloodshed
the shrinking demise
of self rendered hell
that I loved so dearly
Beautiful lies and eloquent evils
passed like smoke in the wind
as I found my way out
towards the gate
to see St Peter in the mirror
welcoming me back to the earth.
With all my love and wishes for our peace,
Max
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